Several of our experts—Renee Hobbs, Ph.D. Donna Secor, LMSW, Jennifer Williamson, and Dr. Anthony Wolf answer your questions about the media messages, technology, and teen behavior.
Q: How much time do you suggest a child be allowed to be on cell phone? What cut off time do you recommend for school nights and also weekends?
A: Teenagers communicate with each other by cell phone, regular phone and over the Internet. They also spend time playing video games, watching television and visiting various websites. Perhaps a more realistic approach would be limits for the combination of all of the above. The main problem with too much of the time spent connected to some electronic device is that it can take away from other activities, namely homework and perhaps more creatively active pursuits. Parents differ widely on how much they allow, and I am not sure there is a right answer. Mainly, you should pick an amount of time that you are comfortable with and stick by it. Your child will hate whatever restriction you place. But I definitely would advocate limits such that there are significant chunks of time every day, and bigger chunks on weekends, where they are not constantly hooked up to some manner of electronics.
Dr. Anthony E. Wolf, author of "'Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?' A Parents Guide to the New Teenager."
Q: I am having a problem at my house. My 7th grader, 12-year-old Stacey has been on my space for one month now. She is a great kid, but tends to be a follower. I work out of the house, my 36-year-old sister is our afternoon nanny, and so someone is always at home with the two girls, 9 and 12. We have gone on her site, it is private, and she has to invite friends. The problem is, as you bring in friends, you pollute the population. One boy was talking about sex in his profile, another girl had playboy symbol on her site. My sister, wife, and 12- year-old are fighting over this. Any advice?
A: Social networking sites bring new challenges into the Family, and you are not alone. Conflicts over the appropriate use of MySpace are common within families. MySpace's current policy bars children under 14 from setting up profiles. Users who are 14 or 15 can display their full profiles - containing hobbies, schools and any other personal details - only to people already on the teen's list of friends.
You might consider using MySpace's current age policy as a guideline for your daughter Stacey and her friends. Setting limits on media use to reflect your values is important. Some families steer young adolescents (like your 12-year-old) into social networking sites like Zoey's Room or Imbee, which verify the ages of participants.
One of the attractions of sites like MySpace is the pleasure of "constructing an identity" through selecting images, phrases, music, etc. This may help develop the confidence of a girl who is just beginning to get a sense of her own identity, but it also is the same impulse that leads teens to put Playboy images on their page. For a 12-year-old, my primary concern would be the tendency for social networking sites to lead to problems with inappropriate boasting, teasing and sex talk.
To avoid fights and promote genuine dialogue in your family, ask your daughter to construct a "pro-con" list, asking her to describe all the positive and negative aspects of MySpace. Have her explain her chart to you. This will tell you a lot about whether she is ready to manage the complexities of a social networking site. Use the information you get from her to decide whether she's ready for MySpace -- and feel confident that if you decide she's not, it's OK. Lots of parents don't allow MySpace until age 14.
If you feel she is mature enough to use MySpace, you and your sister should also make a pro-con list of your own. Spend some time on MySpace yourself to check it out yourself. Use your pro-con list to talk with Stacey about your perceptions of the strengths and limitations of this communications tool.
Renée Hobbs, Ed.D., M.A., is one of the nation's leading authorities on media literacy education. She is a Professor of Communication at Temple University's School of Communication and Theater, where she directs the Media Education Lab, a center for research and community service in media literacy. She has created numerous award-winning multimedia curriculum materials, including My Pop Studio for tween girls.