Parenting Teens Online

Navigation

Search

Account Navigation

Book Excerpt: Nurturing the Nature of Your Young Teen

Nurturing_the_Nature_of_Your_Young_Teen_photo

By Michael Gurian

Reprinted from Nurture the Nature by Michael Gurian by arrangement with Jossey-Bass, a member of John Wiley and Sons, Inc., Copyright (c) 2007 by Michael Gurian.

The following excerpt is from Michael Gurian’s important new book on understanding and supporting your child’s unique core personality.

 

“I’ve had five children, and I can tell you, whether it’s boys or girls, raising them through puberty is all about adapting. Every day is different than the last, and there’s no way to stop the roller coaster. And you know what? I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. It was just wonderful to see each of my kids really show themselves during those years. I could start talking to them like adults, I could give them more responsibility, they asked questions, they disagreed with me, there were battles, there were times when a couple of them just seemed to get lost for a while, but through it all, I kept thinking, ‘Enjoy it, Pearl, they’ll be grown soon.’ And sure enough, they were.”

--Pearl Alexander, grandmother of 11, 3 boys and 8 girls

I met Pearl at a parenting workshop in New York. She showed me pictures of her children and grandchildren, including her granddaughter who, she told me, was diagnosed with depression in seventh grade but “is getting the love and help she needs.” Pearl told me about her work as a librarian and about how much she missed her late husband and couldn’t have raised her kids without him; then she came to the topic she very much wanted to discuss: what she felt was missing in “the public conversation.”

 

 

Readers' Comments

Michael Vincent 09/10/07

Michael Gurian is a brilliant writer and thinker—as is the grandmother he quotes who applauds low self-esteem in teenagers. While I’m not sure I agree with that, I do feel that a lot of parents over-think what they are doing with their kids, and the result is a mishmash of inconsistency. I think parents who listen a lot see these changes happening in their kids, and they can better understand when their child is just trying a new personality on for size, and when they are really about to leap off the deep end. I’m trying to be that kind of parent.

Read more comments

  • Print This article
  • Rate This article
    Rate Article

    Was this article helpful to you? Let us know by giving it a rating from 1 (not helpful at all) to 5 (outstanding).

    We appreciate your taking the time to let us know how we're doing!

Take Our Latest Poll

What subject is the hardest for you to discuss with your teen?

Poll Options

See Poll's Results