Reprinted from Nurture the Nature by Michael Gurian by arrangement with Jossey-Bass, a member of John Wiley and Sons, Inc., Copyright (c) 2007 by Michael Gurian.

The following excerpt is from Michael Gurian’s important new book on understanding and supporting your child’s unique core personality.

“I’ve had five children, and I can tell you, whether it’s boys or girls, raising them through puberty is all about adapting. Every day is different than the last, and there’s no way to stop the roller coaster. And you know what? I wouldn’t have traded it for anything. It was just wonderful to see each of my kids really show themselves during those years. I could start talking to them like adults, I could give them more responsibility, they asked questions, they disagreed with me, there were battles, there were times when a couple of them just seemed to get lost for a while, but through it all, I kept thinking, ‘Enjoy it, Pearl, they’ll be grown soon.’ And sure enough, they were.”

--Pearl Alexander, grandmother of 11, 3 boys and 8 girls

I met Pearl at a parenting workshop in New York. She showed me pictures of her children and grandchildren, including her granddaughter who, she told me, was diagnosed with depression in seventh grade but “is getting the love and help she needs.” Pearl told me about her work as a librarian and about how much she missed her late husband and couldn’t have raised her kids without him; then she came to the topic she very much wanted to discuss: what she felt was missing in “the public conversation.”

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Issue: September 2007