Tip 93: Avoid 5 major mistakes if your child has tried drugs
If you suspect that your child has begun to experiment with drugs, there are five things to avoid doing.
Don’t overreact. Drug experimentation does not imply drug dependence. Although you may have strong feelings of anger, terror, or guilt, try to maintain a sense of perspective. If your child has tried smoking marijuana, for example, it would be unreasonable to send him to a treatment program immediately. However, if your teen has experimented with an especially dangerous drug, you should take immediate action.
Don’t attempt to control your child’s behavior with punitive discipline. When your teen begins to experiment with drugs, you may think that you have been too permissive. However, becoming more strict and controlling is likely to have the opposite effect of what you intend because your teen will have more incentive to rebel and conceal his behavior from you to avoid getting caught.
Don’t try to protect your child from the natural consequences of his drug use. This would be the beginning of “enabling,” which means facilitating a person’s drug use by protecting him from the natural consequences of his behavior. An example of enabling a teen’s drug use is making false excuses to your child’s teachers or employers about his absences from school or work. It is better for your teen to be forced to confront an angry boss during his early stages of drug use than end up in jail or in the hospital after prolonged or dangerous use, which you have facilitated through your enabling behaviors.
Don’t condemn your teen’s behavior with moralistic lectures. If you tell your teen that drugs are immoral or that he is a bad or weak person for trying them, he will probably walk away or become angry. Or he may listen politely but continue using drugs.
Don’t ignore the problem. A common mistake is to assume that a child’s drug experimentation is just a passing phase and that he will outgrow it. Although this may be true in many cases, you should not ignore the fact that your child has begun to experiment with drugs. Some parents let obvious drug use pass without mentioning it because they want to appear “cool.” That attitude will not help your child deal with the confusing and dangerous world of drugs.
So what should you do instead? Read the rest of the book for suggestions of intervention strategies and other important tips.