From the Expert
“Like so many other situations, every family has different beliefs, routines, and levels of tolerance for a teen´s self-expression when it comes to ‘the room.’ A pre-emptive discussion based on mutual respect is the best option for establishing expectations of care, responsibility, and privacy of this ‘sacred’ space. Everyone will probably have to compromise at times, but being prepared for change will allow humor to prevail should parents spy their kids carrying black paint cans and a saw toward the room.
“What about privacy? It´s likely that parents have already established patterns of trust, respect, and responsibility for the teen. So if a battle ensues over the room, it´s undoubtedly because the parents fear for the health and safety of the child in some way. Confronting these issues head on may be initially more painful, but in the long run will make true communication and trust possible between parent and teen. The outcome should be that ‘the room’ becomes a safe haven of expression and comfort in a tumultuous world.”
Pam Park, guidance counselor and teacher.
Ron Searle 08/26/08
The room is their's...on loan. They earn their privacy by keeping their space clean and livable. Once a parent is suspicious of things goin on, it's up to them to find out what's going on by asking their teen first and then, if need be, more sneaky measures. --from Ron at www.arivacaboysranch.com
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