Comments

• Ron Searle 08/26/08

  The room is their's...on loan. They earn their privacy by keeping their space clean and livable. Once a parent is suspicious of things goin on, it's up to them to find out what's going on by asking their teen first and then, if need be, more sneaky measures. --from Ron at www.arivacaboysranch.com

• yvonne allsopp, Mount Vernon, NY 08/02/08

  My 16 year old went through a period of pure depression-wouldn't leave tjhe house; eventually we went into counseling and eventually placement. We are totally different. I won't sweat the small stuff; a house without her for a month at a time is an eye opener. I have come to resect who she is even more. We rent so stuff on the walls is taboo. I only demand that she not eat in her room.When she is home I am even glad for the little mess. I don't nag as much and thouroughlly enjoy having her home. She still doesn't like chores but she does them, even if half heartedly. Now I care more about her liking to be in her room, wanting to go out, wanting to spend time with me . If she leaves a few tops on the floor, oh well. When she goes away to school (college) since she know what it is like to have someone else in a room that you are not related too, she has learned mutual respect.
  She is a good kid but it took us a while to get to this point.

• Lori Foley, Sharon, MA 07/21/08

  We always knock before entering, allow what ever expression on the
  walls within reason, but I do weed out old clothes on a regular basis
  and demand a good vacuum and sheet changing weekly if I can..

• Tammy Bulkowski, medina, OH 07/15/08

  My daughter is 16 and I remember being 16 a long time ago , so I do respect her privacy. as long as she keep's her room clean and the music to a reasonable volume, it is her place where she can go to just chill with her thought's. She has it decorated to her likeing and long as we approve . It is a little wild but it is her ,she is a good kid . I have said in the past you have to pick your battle's and not sweat the small stuff when it come's to teenager's .You will alway's have bigger fish to fry. So I say as long as they are not hurting any thing or any body let them have their private space. Tammy Medina Ohio 5/28/08

• Lilith Durham, Jonesborough, TN 07/13/08

  It is my house, my room, but my daughter gets to decorate it however she wants (within reason), as long as she keeps it clean. If I have to clean it myself, the penalty is that everything on the floor goes in the trash, including the clothes I bought for her. When she gets her own place, she can set the rules, but until then, she lives in MY house.

• Diana O, Gray, ME 07/12/08

  I don't think any bedroom door should ever have a lock!!

• veronica Roberts, Seminole 07/06/08

  I have 2 teenagers and 2 younger ones. Their is no room for being a slob. Even in their room. They set the examples for their younger siblings. I am all for expression of who they are, But I do not tolerate being taken advantage of. It's My house and My rules when they move out they can live how ever they want.
  Roni mother of boys, 17, 14

• Tamara Osborne 07/05/08

  Compromise is one of the best lessons we can teach our teens. They give a little; we give a little. The answer to “whose room is it?” is both of you. That means that everyone has to accommodate everyone else in the house.

• Pete R. 07/03/08

  My two sons are slobs, but it’s my house! I tell them, ‘when you leave here, you can do what you want,’ but not under my roof. And when they make a mess, they clean up. Or else! Parents, don’t back down! You have nothing to lose but the value of a piece of your house!

• Larry Castronova 07/01/08

  My daughter went through a period when she was very depressed and wouldn’t take care of her room. I was also concerned that she was in there with the door locked much of the time. So the issue of privacy is relative, depending on the family situation. Sometimes, open doors are essential.