The war between privacy and cleanliness has long been waged on the battlefield of the teenage bedroom. No one side will ever claim total victory. Some parents insist on a certain level of cleanliness, even if they have to clean the room themselves, while others just shut the door. Teens claim they should be allowed to have their rooms reflect their personal interests and values, even when the rest of the family does not share their vision. ParentingTeensOnline asked parents and teenagers how they deal with this important issue.
SO...WHOSE ROOM IS IT?
The Parents
“Definitely, my son’s. It’s his space and I respect it. I feel strongly that a teenager has to have some place to escape to. If you don’t provide that in the home, they’ll seek it outside the house.”
Maureen, parent of a boy, 17
“It’s her room, but in our house, so she can’t destroy it. We said no to putting the mattress on the floor.”
Nicole, parent of a girl, 15
“The bedroom is OUR room. He gets to use it.”
Trudi, parent of a boy, 16
The Kids
“The room is mine and should be considered my paradise, my haven, my domain. The house belongs to my parents. Therefore, the contents of the room are mine, but the cleanliness and extreme decorating should be monitored by my parents because the whole house is theirs.”
Dana, 15
“Legally and technically, it belongs to my parents. But within the boundaries of the house and my family, it is explicitly understood that my room is my own. I might not pay rent but the room belongs to me.”
Martin, 17
“It should be the teenager’s because it is his or her responsibility.”
Jordan, 16
Ron Searle 08/26/08
The room is their's...on loan. They earn their privacy by keeping their space clean and livable. Once a parent is suspicious of things goin on, it's up to them to find out what's going on by asking their teen first and then, if need be, more sneaky measures. --from Ron at www.arivacaboysranch.com
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