Getting Professional Help

Mediation

• Mediation helps parents to resolve conflict by helping each hear the other out during and after the divorce.
• Any issues not resolved by mediation can be decided by the courts or negotiated by attorneys.
• Mediators who specialize in matters of divorce and separation can be recommended by your lawyer, the courts, state mediation associations, or located on the Web at http://www.mediate.com.

Counseling and Therapy

• Seek counseling as a preventive measure to make a bad situation as good as possible through advice and planning.
• Turn to therapy as a remedial measure if your teen is depressed, anxious, angry, or not functioning well in school or with friends.
• You can find a specialty divorce therapist through your school guidance counselor, your lawyer, or the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.

Recognize Your Teen's Reaction to Divorce

If Your Teen Is Depressed:

• Acknowledge pain, stomachaches or headaches, as real.
• Expect dramatic mood swings.
• Recruit a relative or friend who can spend time with your teen.
• If needed, get professional help.

If Your Teen Is Angry and Acting Out:

• Be tolerant of changes in dress, hairstyle, body decoration.
• Accept some disrespectful behavior. Pick your battles carefully.
• Stay in touch with school officials about truancy and/or performance.

If Your Teen Seems to be Separating From the Family:

• Ask her to help out and take care of a younger sibling.
• Offer to give him alone time if he will agree to family time too.
• Make sure each parent spends some time with their child doing something the teen enjoys.

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Issue: January 2008