Getting Professional Help
Mediation
- Mediation helps parents to resolve conflict by helping each hear the other out during and after the divorce.
- Any issues not resolved by mediation can be decided by the courts or negotiated by attorneys.
- Mediators who specialize in matters of divorce and separation can be recommended by your lawyer, the courts, state mediation associations, or located on the Web at http://www.mediate.com.
Counseling and Therapy
- Seek counseling as a preventive measure to make a bad situation as good as possible through advice and planning.
- Turn to therapy as a remedial measure if your teen is depressed, anxious, angry, or not functioning well in school or with friends.
- You can find a specialty divorce therapist through your school guidance counselor, your lawyer, or the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry.
Recognize Your Teen's Reaction to Divorce
If Your Teen Is Depressed:
- Acknowledge pain, stomachaches or headaches, as real.
- Expect dramatic mood swings.
- Recruit a relative or friend who can spend time with your teen.
- If needed, get professional help.
If Your Teen Is Angry and Acting Out:
- Be tolerant of changes in dress, hairstyle, body decoration.
- Accept some disrespectful behavior. Pick your battles carefully.
- Stay in touch with school officials about truancy and/or performance.
If Your Teen Seems to be Separating From the Family:
- Ask her to help out and take care of a younger sibling.
- Offer to give him alone time if he will agree to family time too.
- Make sure each parent spends some time with their child doing something the teen enjoys.

Barb Lorge 01/07/08
Going through a bad divorce now, and this article gave me a lot to think about. It’s easy to get into your own head, not in your kids’. They need time too.
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