At first, Sharon, a Maryland mom, thought Dave was just going through classic teenage rebellion.
When he didn´t want to talk and retreated to his own room as soon as he walked in the door, she at first assumed this was par for the course. But gradually he stopped hanging out with his friends; he quit playing tennis (which he loved); and even small disappointments brought Dave to uncontrollable tears...or rage. Clearly, Dave was miserable. But was he depressed? And what could his mother do to help him?
Major depression in teens is serious. It's more than just having the blues. Depression can lead to school failure, alcohol or other drug use, and even suicide.
WHAT DOES TEEN DEPRESSION LOOK LIKE?
How can you tell if your teen is suffering from a clinical depression that requires professional help?
Dr. Glenn Hirsch, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at the NYU School of Medicine and Medical Director of the NYU Child Study Center, explains, "Many teenagers feel irritable, cranky, blue, and moody. However, if these feelings last more than a few days, interfere with daily life, prevent enjoyment of usual activities, and cause distress, depression may be present."
"While many teens can be secretive and frequently shut out parents, complete withdrawal from family and friends is significant," adds Dr. Erica Gants, a clinical psychologist in Falls Church, Virginia.
Deb Moore 02/08/08
Vicki:
Sometimes you have to take the risk in friendship for the good of the child. You could begin your talk with S by telling her that she is your friend and that friends sometimes have to tell each other things they might not want to hear, that you love her dearly and only want the best for her and her family, then proceed to give your viewpoint. Sometimes what you have to say is not always taken in the context it should be but then if it is true reciprocating friendship, S will take what you have to say into consideration. If she does not, then your other alternative is to talk with a school counselor about the situation. You may feel you are stepping into territory you have no business in but this is for the good of a child and is not about you or S.
Remember the Serenity Prayer - God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.
This may be where you need Courage to make a difference in the life of a child. If S breaks off the friendship, then she was not a true friend in the first place. Friends are able to tell each other things that each of them might not want to hear and still be friends afterwards.
You know the hurt of depression; don't ignore the child.
Good luck in whatever you do1
D.
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