WHAT'S A BIG DEAL AND WHAT'S NOT
There are all kinds of body art, including piercings (think ear, nose, tongue, eyebrow, belly button) to tattoos (think anywhere!) to extreme haircuts, such as head shaving and permanent hair dying. What should you be concerned about as a parent?
The answer largely will depend on your parenting style, but let's start with health concerns, which are paramount. Your teenage daughter dying her hair purple may seem harmless enough, but permanent dyes can produce allergic reactions to skin. "A test of the dye on the skin should be done prior to the complete dye technique," says John C. Fleming M.D., author of Preventing Addiction: What Parents Must Do to Immunize their Kids Against Drug and Alcohol Addiction. With tattooing and body piercing, the health dangers become more serious, says Fleming. "With tattooing, we worry about hepatitis B and C being passed from unclean instruments because of blood left from a previous customer," says Fleming, adding that Staph (staphylococcus aureus) skin infections are also possible from both tattooing and piercing procedures.
Even knowing the health concerns, though, might not be enough to stop the stubborn, headstrong, or increasingly image-conscious teen. Therefore, it's time for action. Some options:
#1: Just say no
Putting your foot down stresses how important this decision is to you, says Robert Butterworth, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Los Angeles. "We all know from our teenage years that a lot of the weird things we did were phases," he says. "But when you start doing something that's going to make it difficult to function in the world, then parents have to step in and say, 'Not until you leave home.' And kids aren't going to like it." Indeed, Diane W.'s daughter got a belly button piercing when she was 16. "I took her to get it," says Diane, 40, who lives in upstate New York. When her daughter approached her for a nose piercing, Diane outright refused. "That, to me, is over the line," says Diane, who works as a sales consultant for a life insurance company. "It is a big commitment to make to your appearance for life. She pursued me about it for a while, but since she is now 18, I think she is happy that I didn't allow it. Sometimes moms really do know best!"
Debbie Forrester, Memphis, TN 10/01/08
OK, I know I'm going to get a lot of flack about this one, but I am taking my son next summer to get a tattoo for his 16th birthday. He has to adhere to the strict guidelines I have imposed (i.e., can't be anything derogative, has to be in a place where it can be hidden (such as shoulder, upper arm, etc., and I have to go with him). I have 3 tattoos... and I didn't get them until I was over 35! They are all discreet and tasteful. I love them and so does everyone else who sees them. Before you judge me, I have to add that I am a professional in the legal industry and definitely don't portray the image of a "tattoo type". My son also has type I diabetes, and I have spoken to his endocrinologist who gave me the ok. One thing that is important for parents to know about tattoos - there are several states that do not allow them on minors under the age of 18, even WITH parental permission. We happen to live in one of those states, so I am taking him to get his during our annual beach vacation in Alabama. There are also strict laws that tattoo shops must adhere to. Of course, there are always exceptions to every rule. The key is to do your homework, check out the tattoo artists and TALK to your kids. Sometimes there are far larger battles to fight.
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