What Your Kid Says Destroys His Respect for You
Be forewarned before you read this list, also. It’s a tough one, too.
She says finding your stash of marijuana caused her respect for you to go up in smoke.
He says finding out about your sexual affair ripped his heart in half.
She becomes disgusted seeing how small you look after your sixth beer.
He hates it when you beg for or demand affection.
She feels lost when she sees you getting cold with her because she’s been acting like such a little snot.
He gets frightened when you retaliate in kind for his hurtful words to you.
She becomes panicked when you act as small-minded as she does.
He cries hard tears when he finds out his father is so weak of character that he uses strength of muscle to punch his own son, even though the kid “deserved it.”
She sees you shrink in size each time you are sarcastic.
He feels less hopeful each time you resort to anger to get him to do things.
They both become terribly despondent when they see their parents become children.
If you have built a respect-based relationship with your kid, congratulations! You have given him the best gifts he’ll ever get from anyone: intrinsic values and decision-making skills that go with him wherever he goes in this insane world. You vaccinated him with loving respect for you so that when he comes up against the inevitable decisions about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, he will likely be immune to the lure of the insanity. This immunization only comes from respect. It never comes from control. And like love, respect can only be freely given. It can never be demanded.
yvonne allsopp, Mount Vernon, NY 02/16/08
This article is so needed; I often feel like I am not "doing it right" then I read these articles and realize there are no perfect parents and so many of us are dealing with similar situations. Thank you for your straightforwardness
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