Common Questions Preteens Have
(and How to Answer Them)

Question: Why does everybody hate me?

Answer: Well, that’s your opinion. Do you feel like you sometimes hate other people? It’s something you get over when you start talking or interacting with that person. Give it a try.

Question: Why can’t I get a tattoo?

Answer: I know you won’t like the answer, “Because I said so,” but frankly, right now, I’m the parent and I want you to wait. Ask me again when you’re 18.

Question: Gross! Why am I so disgustingly sweaty?

Answer: Sweat glands! This is the time of life when they really go into overdrive, especially in your armpits, groin, palms, and soles of your feet. When the sweat comes into contact with bacteria on your skin, it smells. Radical cure: a daily bath or shower, plus deodorant.

 

When and How to Have the “Big Talks”

Here are some tips from Dr. Andrea Libresco, a professor of curriculum and teaching in the School of Education and Allied Human Services at HofstraUniversity, Hempstead, N.Y.

• Pick up nonverbal cues. If they are hanging around you, even if they’re not saying anything definitive, this might be a sign that they have something on their mind.

• Take lots of family car trips. It can be helpful to talk here, when they are next to or behind you and don’t have to look into your eyes when they speak.

• Use movies, shows, and even doctor’s appointments for “talkable” moments. “A parent’s worst nightmare is not that you’ll hear something terrible, but that you won’t hear about it at all,” says Libresco.

• Carpool as much as possible. Be a fly on the steering wheel and be quiet when you drive them and their friends. They tend to forget you’re there.

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Issue: December 2008