It is possible that your teen has a terrific relationship with your parents. If so, wonderful! But it's more common that even kids who were crazy about going to grandma and grandpa's when they were little have changed their tune now that they're teens.
"Sometimes kids who live far from grandparents don't have as close a relationship as you would like," says Michael Riera, author of Staying Connected to Your Teenager: How to Keep Them Talking to You and Hear What They're Really Saying. But by explaining why visits are important and catering, a bit, to your teen's social priorities, you can counter the "Not them again!" refrain.
Solutions
- Invite Your Teen to Help Plan a Visit
Go ahead and ask, "What would make this a better trip for you?" Kids will probably say, "nothing," so have suggestions ready, such as bringing a friend or taking a new DVD to watch. "Suggest an activity like a walk in a park, boating on a local lake, or an afternoon of window-shopping in a city. Teens are likely to let you know they think these ideas are lame, but they'll come back later with [their own] idea." - Let Kids Phone Home
Don't make a visit to grandma's a time without contact to the outer world. "Allow them some limited time to text-message friends and check in," suggests Riera.
Bron P. 08/19/07
My father died a year ago and was sick for most of my kids’ life. My mother is now in a facility because she has Alzheimers. And though my wife’s parents are in better shape, they are old and it’s hard for them to relate to anything my three kids (11, 14 and 17) are doing. I just want to spare them because our visits are generally unpleasant, filled with awkward silence. I feel guilty that we don’t visit enough but then I feel guilty that my kids don’t have grandparents who can really be there for them.
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