ANTI-CYBERBULLYING PROGRAMS IN THE SCHOOLS
Throughout the country, anti-cyberbullying programs are springing up to handle such diverse issues as respect for differences, sex roles, anger management, impulse control, personal boundaries, private versus public information, and the laws about sexual harassment.
Pat Coates, principal of Timberlane Middle Schools in New Jersey has instituted a program to address cyberbullying and other problems called Character Counts, which covers six pillars of character including: trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring, and citizenship.
Dr. Midge Sabatini, with Rhode Island's Department of Education, states, "Our bullying prevention workshops ask parents to initiate conversations with their child about all aspects of school safety, bullying, and cyberbullying (see sidebar: Six Key Steps). "It's essential to maintain an ongoing dialogue between the school principals and school-based parent organizations."
Nan Stein, Ed.D, a senior research scientist at the Center for Research on Women at Wellesley College, directs research on bullying, sexual harassment, and gender violence in schools. She sums up the aim of all harassment prevention efforts is to "create a whole society that is safe, just, and fair-from the schools, to the streets and public places, to the homes and workplaces."
WHAT PARENTS CAN DO
Teens obviously don't want to admit to their parents that they are involved in any way in cyberbullying. So you have to come up with ingenious ways to bring the issue home. There have to be family rules and serious consequences for breaking them. Parents can help their children understand that being angry with others is normal but showing restraint is essential. Just because you can retaliate without showing your face or name, doesn't mean it's a solution.
The best way to do this is to state your values, ethics, and expectations for how people are to be treated, and make this your family credo. Living by these agreed-on terms will help your teens avoid being sucked into the trap of cyberbullying.
After a recent workshop on school safety, a mother came up to me and asked, "What should I do to make absolutely sure my kids don't get cyberbullied?" I told her that today's kids have two worlds to navigate. The first, we share with them over the kitchen table and in the classroom. The second is online with very different rules and dangers. As adults, we need to model behaviors that are respectful and emotionally healthy. We can agree, as a family, to treat one another as we would like to be treated. And in that way, we hope, we can encourage our teens to get out of the darker corners of the Web and take a firm stand against cyberbullying.
About the Author:
Dominic Cappello is the founder of STUDIOLO, which develops safety and health promotion programs for educators, parents, and children. Cappello also directs the "Can We Talk?" family communication program (www.canwetalkri.org.) and is the author of Ten Talks Parents Must Have with Their Children About Violence. He has discussed youth safety and health on Oprah, The Today Show, and ABC News.
Ajit K. 08/25/07
My son has been bullied online. I don’t know what to do about it. There are not many minority families in our area, and it is tough for him. I am glad to read there are school programs. I am going to ask our school if they can start one.
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