Tips to Tame the Four-Letter Monster
Build Incentives
Offer to treat your teens to an evening at their favorite restaurant or something else they'll enjoy if they go for an agreed-upon stretch of time with no swearing. This is a win-win: You have just scheduled time with your kids that you might not otherwise have spent together.
Set Standards for Your Home
Tell your kids, "This is a swearing-free environment," and establish consequences for violating the house rules, such as charging a dollar per swear word. Put your money where your mouth is, and pay the same price if you slip. Don't overreact to occasional infractions, but in-your-face violations will require more memorable consequences, such as withholding allowance or permission to use the car. Whatever consequences you choose, be firm. It's your home. You are the parent. Act like one.
Be Patient
Breaking habits is hard. Your teens will not suddenly stop swearing, but investing the time and effort to help them understand how deeply words matter will help your teens grow into adults who won't only sound more mature, they'll be more mature, educated, and respected.
Judy Gruen is a humor writer whose latest book is The Women's Daily Irony Supplement, and the proud mother of four teens. Read more of her work on www.judygruen.com .
Diana O, Gray, ME 04/16/08
Instead of adding to a swearing jar/bank - I went the other way with it and it has worked really well so far. My daughter, 17, is given a monthly budget amount for expenses - she was swearing quite a bit, so we decided that we would deduct .25 per word from her budget amount the first month and continue up to 1.00 per word in the next months. She had a two week trial before this started on April 1st. In the 2 wks, she did well and we advised she would have lost 1.25 if the rule had been in action. It is now the 15th of April and so far this month she has lost nothing - I'm keeping my fingers crossed on this one!! We also added 2 measly chores to the pot for which she loses 10.00 per wk if she doesn't do them both (one is not sufficient), but this has not worked at all and she has lost the 10.00 each week so far. I'm hoping when payday comes on May 1 - maybe she'll be shocked into reality! Oh well, you win some and you lose some, I guess - but at least I don't have to listen to the foul language anymore.
Read more comments