Question:
My son constantly argues with my boyfriend and I am not sure how to stop it. He says he hates him and wants to fight him. I am tired of being in the middle of the fighting.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Dr. Michael Schwartzman is a family therapist in New York City and the co-author of "The Anxious Parent". He answers:
Sounds like you find yourself in a transition period where your family is going through a major change. Although it does not feel good for you now, it will only get worse without the proper attention. I gather that your son is having difficulty with your boyfriend. Kids typically have reactions to their parents becoming involved with new people. Not knowing anything about your particulars, but tending to see things first from the point of view of the child, I would suggest that you try to make sense of why he is constantly arguing. How is your boyfriend responding? As you are the cause and reason for them being involved with each other you are going to have to help them work this out. I would like to imagine that you have introduced your boyfriend into your family's life because you respect his ability to get along with your son. Help him to be more understanding and set up opportunities for them to enjoy each others' company. You are in the middle until they can stand on their own.
Unless, of course, they are not able to be civil. If that is the case you will need to seek professional consultation for your situation, with them in tow.