Question:
I have a niece who is 15 and has been sexually active but insists she cannot tell her mother. I am concerned about getting her on birth control and getting her professional education about STDs, etc.Shall I take her to the family planning clinic myself?
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Elizabeth M. Casparian, Ph.D. is Director of Educational Programs at HiTOPS in Princeton, NJ, where she and her staff provide educational programs to teens and parents throughout New Jersey. She answers:
First, if your niece has been confiding in you about her sex life when she feels she cannot talk with her own parents about it, then you should pat yourself on the back for being the kind of adult that this young person trusts to ask questions and get help on deeply personal and important issues. Second, you need to be careful about your relationship with her mother (your sister?). If you go ahead and help her and her mother finds out that you did, you will need to be prepared for whatever kind of reaction she has and be prepared to answer her questions about why you would help her daughter obtain birth control, etc. Sometimes parents are grateful that another adult has helped out, and sometimes parents are furious. Either way, it is important that you are clear about your reasons for helping your niece. Be willing to talk with her mom about your decision if she ever confronts you about it.