Question:
I have a daughter who is 13. Basketball tryouts are coming up. Normally, she shows some resistance when going into a sport. Once she is on the team and playing games, practicing, she loves it.My husband and I feel that we need to push her to play a sport due to her lack of motivation. But we have seen from past experience that she has so much fun once she is in it.
My question is, should we continue to push her? (Its more of a nudge, than a push.) We want her to be involved in something other than boys. :)
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Mark Fuerst , fields questions about sports and competition. Mark is a health and medical writer based in Brooklyn, NY. You can read more about him at MySteps, his blog. He responds:
Some teens, particularly girls, need a little nudge to try out for teams. Remind her how much fun she had playing on other teams, and suggest she give it a try again this time. If there are girls on the team that she is friendly with, or that she wants to know better, point that out to her. That is, remind her of the social aspects of playing together on a team, too.
Teens often say one thing (“I don’t want to tryout for basketball”) when they mean another (“I’m afraid I’ll get teased” or “Boys will think I’m a jock”). Your child may not know what she wants, so you need to help her make an informed decision. Encourage her to explain what she does and doesn’t like about the basketball team so you can ensure she has a complete picture.
Don’t lose sight that sports are a nice way to round out a child’s life and get in some exercise as well. As parents, we want our children to develop healthy, lifelong habits of movement and enjoyment of physical activity, so don’t push (or nudge) so hard that she loses interest in all sports. Make sure that your child’s decision to play basketball comes from her, and not primarily from you. Overly enthusiastic parents may not properly gauge their child’s interest in a particular sport. Maybe your daughter would prefer to play in a less-competitive, recreational basketball league that balances the competition with a little fun.