Question:
Is it "normal" for our 15 y.o. daughter to want to spend more time with us than with her friends? She talks about friends at school, but seems to shy away from social events-- dances, athletic events, etc. -- we worry about her becoming lonely or depressed.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Lisa Machoian, Ed.D. , author of "The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression", is a national expert on teenagers, their mental health, psychosocial development, and self-esteem. She answers:
Does your daughter ever spend time with friends after school or on weekends or does she just mention them? Have you met any of her friends? It is important to know if she truly has any “real” friends. Who does she sit with in the cafeteria during lunch? Does she attend any social activities with peers? Most teens prefer like being with their friends. She could become lonely if she is being excluded or shunned, and that could adversely impact her self esteem. Also, what is going on at the social events? Could her peers be doing things she doesn’t want to do? Find out how come she doesn’t want to go to social events. Is she shy? Nervous? Are her peers nice to her? Do all you can to increase communication with her about what is and isn't going on in her social world. Find some type of extracurricular activity that she loves or truly enjoys which involves kids her age and help her get involved in that.