Question:
My 15 year old has 2 fathers 1 is her bio and the other has been her "DAD" since she was 6 months.Her bio dad is hot and cold with her and has seen her 6 times maybe since she was born. Her dad now lives in China and has for several years, he recently quit his good job with the airlines and can not fly back and forth like he use to. She is feeling abandon twice. This is effecting her relationship with boys, in how she reacts to them. What can I do to help my hurting child
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Thomas G. Suk, M.A., L.M.F.T., L.C.P.C., is a licensed marriage and family therapist and licensed clinical professional counselor in Deerfield, IL. The father of four grown children, his goal is to help couples and families find their way and find each other once again. He answers:The first question is whether her biological father is ready to give your daughter the attention she deserves and needs. You will have to get her father to promise that he’ll be there for her. If he agrees, start immediately to work out some alternative way to connect, such as VOIp (Skype [www.skype.com] is an inexpensive program where you can talk internationally via computer for free.) Send her father a schedule of her activities and classes so he can connect with her world. This may actually help in terms of her relationships with boys, because she’ll be able to see that people may leave but they don’t go away. Even talk about plans for her to visit her father in the future if family finances would allow a trip to China. Once regular contact is established, you can back off and let the two of them be responsible for maintaining things. A Dad’s voice is important during a girl’s teen years and working at keeping the connection will be well worth the effort.