Question:
How do I get my daughter who is 12 to understand why I do not want her to have a boyfriend? I have told her, 1, she is too young to have to deal with all the drama that comes with a boyfriend... I think she understands after watching the other girls at school. Break up...and sex... my daughter is not mature enough for this.Dottie
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Logan Levkoff, M.S. , is a Sexologist and Sexuality Educator. She answers:
I think that before you can get her to understand why you feel that a boyfriend may not be best for her, you have to find out what having a "boyfriend" actually means. Ask her, "What does it mean at your age to have a boyfriend? What do boyfriends and girlfriends do? And, why is it important to have a boyfriend now?" Her answers to these questions should help you craft your response. If having a boyfriend means that you hang out and hold hands (and nothing to do with sex), then you may find that you're okay with that. If it means more, then you can explain why you think that she may be too young. But make sure that you validate her feelings. She may really like someone and you want her to know that those feelings (that first crush) is very healthy and very normal. So in terms of having "boyfriends" and "girlfriends", there is no one age when it is normal- it all depends on the definitions. But there is no doubt that by sixth grade, both boys and girls are talking about their "___friends", and it may not be anything more than a label.