Question:
How do you talk to a friend or relative who has overdosed, is clearly on the wrong path? How do you talk to their parents who are in denial? this is a very real situation for me - a dear nephew who we suspected was on the wrong track, wrong friends, getting into trouble and was found at home overdosed. I don't know how to begin to talk to him, or them, or my kids about what has happened, don't know what to do, how to express concern and love in a way that won't seem like I'm standing on the corner, rubbernecking or judging. I don't want my kids to judge him unfairly either. They are young. What do I say?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Stephen Wallace, fields questions about drugs and alcohol. Stephen Wallace is the Chairman & Chief Executive Officer of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), and has served as school psychologist, camp director, and college professor. You can read more about him on SADD's site. Stephen answers:
The task of talking about drug use with a drug user is a difficult task. But there are some things you can do to maximize your chance of success. First, find time to talk when it is convenient for you both. Kids hate being pulled away from a favorite activity to talk about hard-to-talk about subjects. I often say that car rides are a great place to talk to kids casually, and candidly, because they can't go anywhere and they don't have to look at us. Second, avoid moralizing or passing judgement on what you may believe is the motivation behind the behavior. Instead, focus on your concern for his health and safety. Young people understand, and appreciate, that concern. Third, practice using "I statements" (I am really concerned for your safety) rather than "You statements," (You are doing a dangerous thing) which often sound accusatory. Finally, remain calm. If the discussion becomes contentious, take a break and try another time. SADD offers some additional communication tips at no charge: http://www.sadd.org/communicationtips.htm.