Question:
I was wondering why there are no articles on being a step parent of a teenager. I am a step mom to 4 kids and a biological mom to 3, totally 7 kids, which as you can imagine is a handful. Not to mention my husband and I both work full time. The toughest thing is knowing how to discipline my stepdaughter appropriately. The easiest thing would be to have her father do it, but I spend the most time with her and he usually forgets, doesn't follow through, or does nothing. No major issues, but it is tough as I don't want to be considered a step monster and I am comfortable with the boys, but she will go back and complain about me to her mom. Any suggestions?THANKS
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Donna Secor Pennington, LMSW, has been a school social worker at the high school level for twenty years and has been an advocate for programs and services for teens and parents. She answers:
It is big challenge to discipline teenagers under the best of circumstances, but it is an even bigger challenge for stepparents. On the other hand, I have known many teens who appreciate their stepparents, especially when they are treated with fairness and respect. Ideally, you, your husband and her mother can come to some agreement on the limits that will be set for her behavior and the consequences for breaking a rule. With or without their cooperation, however, be strong and confident that you are doing the right thing. Try your best to make sure that the limits and consequences are clear, consistent and appropriate for her age., Try not to argue or get sidetracked by her complaints to her mother.
Also look for opportunities to have some positive interactions with her to show her that you care. It may be a difficult job but someone has to do it!