Question:
I am sure my son (16) and his friends are stealing from our liquor cabinet and filling up the bottles with water. I have confronted him but he swears he doesn’t drink. I am really mad for two reasons – 1. I think he’s lying and 2. I can taste a difference in the gin, vodka, and rum I paid good money for. What should I do?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Stephen Wallace, fields questions about drugs and alcohol. Stephen Wallace is the Chairman & Chief Executive Officer of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), and has served as school psychologist, camp director, and college professor. You can read more about him on SADD's site. Stephen answers:
With 63 percent of middle and high school students reporting that they have consumed alcohol we have an epidemic of underage drinking on our hands. And it sounds like your son may be a part of the problem. Your frustration that he is breaking your rules, lying about it, and diluting your alcohol is understandable.
A logical first step is to lock your liquor cabinet! Next, you may want to try discussing, not confronting, the issue of alcohol use when you are both calm and can talk in an open, casual way. You can bet that your son, at age 16, is feeling pressure to drink and is likely influenced by his friends, the examples that adults set, and the media. Talking about the risks associated with underage drinking can can help him sort through the decisions he has to make on a regular basis. Those risks are physical (teenage brains are going through a massive reorganization and alcohol use can actually change the way the brain processes information), social (many teens do things under the influence of alcohol, such as having sex or getting into fights with friends, that they later say they regret) and, of course, legal.
Teens themselves say that there are some simple things that parents can do to make it less likely they will drink alcohol, including:
- Staying up at night until they return home
- Limiting overnights with friends
- Calling friends’ homes to make sure there will be parental supervision
- Establishing and enforcing rules