Question:
Hi Mr. Wallace,Today I was cleaning the basement and came across a small soda bottle half filled with gin. I believe my 14 year old son hid it there. I have never discovered anything like this before and always keep a close eye on Joe and his friends. What should I do?
Tracey C.
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Stephen Wallace, fields questions about drugs and alcohol. Stephen Wallace is the Chairman & Chief Executive Officer of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), and has served as school psychologist, camp director, and college professor. You can read more about him on SADD's site. Stephen answers:
Well, first of all, continue to keep a close eye on them! Second, find a quiet time to talk with Joe in a non-confrontational manner regarding your discovery, your concerns, and your expectations for his behavior. Try to use "I statements" (e.g., I am worried that you might make choices that could result in your getting hurt) as opposed to "you statements" (e.g., You have made a really bad choice) and remember to listen carefully to what Joe has to say, paraphrasing back to him what you have heard. Be supportive and communicate that you know how difficult it is to grow up in today's world - but be firm regarding family rules and the consequences that will result for breaking them.