Question:
My daughter (13) absolutely loves soccer. She follows all the European teams and has been talking about trying out for the school team. I love my kid, but she’s not really athletic. I know there are students who can kick circles around her. How do I keep her from getting terribly disappointed when she doesn’t make the team?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Mark Fuerst , fields questions about sports and competition. Mark is a health and medical writer based in Brooklyn, NY. You can read more about him at MySteps, his blog. He responds:
To prepare your child for not making the team, you want to give her a reality check in a positive way. Encourage her for trying, but point out that there may be lots of other freshman trying out for only a few open spots, and that even some good players may be left off the team. Tell her you’re not trying to discourage her but that you want her to know that the competition may be stiff. Instead, focus on her effort. Explain that sometimes you can work hard, but still not get what you want. The important thing is for her to do her best at the tryout. Highlight the things that she does well -- maybe it’s her grades or music or dance classes -- that others may struggle with. Not everyone can be great at everything, but anyone can improve with effort. Then give her positive options. Let her know that if she doesn’t make the team this year she can always try out again next year. You could also volunteer to work with her on weekends to improve her soccer game. If she’s not that skilled, try to find teams that don’t have tryouts and accept all interested players. For example, the American Youth Soccer Organization (http://soccer.org/home.aspx) is a volunteer-driven national organization that offers non-competitive soccer for kids up to age 19.