Question:
Why do so many parents behave as if cell phones for their teenagers are essential?For millenia, when young men and women could physically find their way in the world, their level of judgment was increased with this responsibility.
Today, instead, parents are so fearful that children are given no responsibilities as pedestrians or bicyclists. The only responsibility that most are given is to "call home and get permission" or "let mom know where I am."
What would be wrong with drastically cutting back on mobile communications? (remember, motor vehicles have NEVER BEEN MORE RELIABLE!)
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Kelly Mendoza, is a doctoral student at Temple University who has researched parental management of media in the home, provided educational outreach to parent and tweens about media literacy, and developed parent and teacher curriculum. She works in the Media Education Lab at Temple. She answers:
The first question speaks to the role of parents--why do many parents behave as if cell phones for teens are essential? On the one hand, cell phones do address the safety issue for fearful parents (and can be valuable in emergencies). Yet cell phones also allow a convenient "tether" from parents to their teens. Some parents may use the excuse of "safety" when justifying phones for their teens, when they may be having a hard time letting them become self-sufficient and negotiate the world as a young adult. Cell phones have definitely changed parent-teen communication. Although they seem to offer teens a greater level of freedom because Mom and Dad can call to check in whenever they want, cell phones also may serve to limit a teen's freedom. Overbearing parents who call often to check in--deemed "helicopter parents"--can make teens feel restrained and not trusted. Teacher friends of mine have complained about parents who call their teen just to "check in" during school hours, upset to find that they cannot get ahold of their teens because...teachers don't allow cell phones in class!
On the other hand, cell phones can bring parents and teens closer together, as they allow for increased communication that is hard to come by face-to-face at the dinner table (if your schedule even allows dinner together). There are also parents who text message their kids. Parents texting their teens can seem less intrusive than a personal phone call. Parents and teens must establish a healthy communication style with their cell phones--one that allows a balance between freedom and responsibility, and one that that enriches their relationship.
For teens, communication is top priority. And let me rephrase that: communication with friends is top priority. Through digital technology, this generation of teens is in constant contact with their friends. Dr. Lynn Schofield Clark, Associate Professor at the University of Denver, has researched teen digital communication (see her chapter in Girl Wide Web: Girls, the Internet, and the Negotiation of Identity, 2006, Peter Lang). Clark found that being in constant contact with friends and family--via cell phone and internet--was very important to teens (girls, especially). Being in constant contact was also used to maintain social hierarchy, to talk about gossip and rumors, and to discuss popular culture as a catalyst to address deeper personal beliefs. Clark found that constant contact provided girls with a sort of freedom from parental supervision and allowed them to have more control of their self-presentation. Thus, while cutting back on mobile communications seems reasonable to adults, for teens it is like cutting off life lines to friends. And since part of being a teenager is maintaining an image for friends (partially through digital communication with others), teens feel a loss of control over their self-presentation. Parents must decide whether a teen is ready for the responsibility of a cell phone, but ultimately teens want phones to be connected to friends.