Question:
How can I convince my ex-husband of 8 year that our son (6th grade) has ADHD? He tells him he doesn't have to take the medicine and it's interfering in his school work and his behavior at home and at school. My ex- has never spoken to a doctor, teacher, social worker, psychologist and only is looking for a buddy on the weekend that he spends with his son. That not exactly looking out for his best interest.lwaldman@bellsouth.net
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Donna Secor Pennington, LMSW, has been a school social worker at the high school level for twenty years and has been an advocate for programs and services for teens and parents. She answers:
There is a lot of controversy in the media regarding the diagnosis of ADHD and its treatment, leading to fear and misunderstanding on the part of some parents. Unfortunately, most of this controversy lacks a strong basis in fact. Thousands of scientific studies have validated the existence of ADHD as a disorder that impacts the ability of children to achieve in school and control their behavior. These studies have also validated the effectiveness of medication in improving school performance for many students.
Try to enlist the help of your son’s teacher, counselor, social worker or pediatrician. Ask one of them to contact your husband and set up an appointment to talk with him about your son’s need for treatment.
In the event that your ex-husband will not cooperate or doesn’t change his opinion, it will be important to recognize that you can’t control his behavior and that you will have to continue to “make the best of things” with regard to him and your son for many years to come. Focus on the things you can control. Let your son know that although his father does not agree, his teacher, his doctor and you all do agree that he needs the help of medication to do his best in school. To the extent that your son is in your home on any given day, you may insist that he take his medication as prescribed. With his physician’s approval, you might even be able to have his medication administered at school, including on the days he is with your ex-husband. Most ADHD medications are effective for the day they are taken, even if they are not taken every day. Your son is likely to be better off receiving treatment at least some of the time.
You should also keep in mind that there are other strategies besides medication that could be helpful to your son and might be more acceptable to his father. CHADD is a national organization dedicated to improving the lives of children and adults with ADHD and their website is an excellent source of helpful information.