Question:
I am a subscriber to your newsletter and I wanted to know if you had an article about sports and when a teen doesn't make the team? Or do you have references or material for suggestions of what I can get my daughter in to now? My daughter is 15 and did not make the volleyball team and she is very disappointed. She keeps making remarks about putting on weight because now she wont be active and what will she do now with her extra time. She is going to try for a job but she is actually just turning 15 so it might be hard to come by. She is involved with Campus Life a Christian organization on Monday nights. I think when school is back in to session she will get busy but I wanted to know what other parents have shared with what works well for this big disappointment. Thank you.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Mark Fuerst , fields questions about sports and competition. Mark is a health and medical writer based in Brooklyn, NY. You can read more about him at MySteps, his blog. He responds:
Being cut from a team is painful, no matter what. Your daughter will need lots of moral support to get over the sense of loss. Listen to what she has to say, and then help her put it in perspective. Let her know that you’re not disappointed in her, but disappointed for her.
After the initial disappoint fades, talk to your daughter about her commitment to playing volleyball. Ask whether she wants to continue playing to get better and possibly make the team next year. If she does want to try out again, ask the volleyball coach what he or she is looking for in players, and in what areas your daughter needs to improve. Sticking with a sport and getting better at it will help improve her self-image. Also, sometimes it takes more than one try to make a team – even basketball legend Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team at first.
If your daughter really likes volleyball, help her keep her interest in the sport. Look for a club volleyball team or a Y league for her to play in. Maybe you can help her organize a Campus Life volleyball game, if one doesn’t already exist. Sign her up for a volleyball camp to help improve her skills.
Also encourage your daughter to find other ways to become physically active. Maybe she would like to go skateboarding with friends or play in a recreational tennis game without the pressure of competition. If she does happen to find a job, maybe she can walk or bike to work. Swimming is also a wonderful exercise. Let your daughter know that regular exercise, which is one of the keystones to keeping weight off, will help her next year when she tries out for the team. Her strength and stamina will improve, which can only help with the jumping and digging needed to play volleyball.