Question:
My 16 year old daughter has been exchanging very sexually explicit text messages with her 16 year old boyfriend. I let her know that I was aware of the content to these messages and that they are inappropriate as well as the fact that other people may be reading them. She does not deny it but does not want to talk about it. Aside from discontinuing her texting service (which I have never been a fan of because of excessive use) I am open to any ideas as to how to handle this situation. Thank youAnswer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Renée Hobbs, Ed.D., M.A., is one of the nation's leading authorities on media literacy education. She is a Professor of Communication at Temple University's School of Communication and Theater, where she directs the Media Education Lab, a center for research and community service in media literacy. She has created numerous award-winning multimedia curriculum materials, including My Pop Studio for tween girls. Renée answers:
Are you paying for the text message service? If so, I would explain why you feel uncomfortable with her sexual expressions and discontinue paying for the service. There's one main message to emphasize here: a person's sexuality is a very personal and private aspect of themselves. There are good reasons why sexual communication occurs primarily face-to-face. Text messages are very easily forwarded and shared. The news media is full of cases of teens (and adults) getting into trouble through sending and receiving inappropriate text messages. For example, it's not uncommon for teens to share these inappropriate messages with large numbers of peers ---for revenge or punishment or humiliation--- if the relationship goes sour and the couple breaks up. Ask your daughter: would she be comfortable if the text messages were mass-forwarded to her peers or posted on a Facebook page?