Question:
my son is a good athlete....with very good raw talents and skills....however, he doesn't perform as well in games as he does in practice...he says he gets "nervous".....any suggestions? my husband ans I do not pressure him.....he just wants to do better...and we don't know how to help him he is 13.....Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Mark Fuerst , fields questions about sports and competition. Mark is a health and medical writer based in Brooklyn, NY. You can read more about him at MySteps, his blog. He responds:
Everyone gets “butterflies” before a competition. Explain to him that even professional athletes get nervous, so he is not alone. Lots of pros have confessed that they throw up before games from nervous energy. My wife, a litigator for more than 20 years, confesses that every time she goes into court she still gets nervous. Your son needs to learn how to relax and concentrate to allow his natural talent and skills to come through.
If your son prepares well in practice, he will know that he is ready when it comes time to play real games. A good coach will help him stay focused when he enters into a game for the first time. If your son trusts his coach, have him practice listening to the coach’s voice before the game to help him stay calm.
Deep breathing exercises may help keep your son on an even keel during games. A simple relaxation technique is to breathe in slowly through the nose for a count of six and then to breathe out slowly through pursed lips for a count of six. Another easy relaxer: have your son close his eyes and concentrate on the blood flowing through his arms and legs, saying in his mind: “My hands are feeling warm and tingly, my toes are feeling warm and tingly.” This helps put the focus back inside the body. This should allow him to perform at his best, in both practice and in games.
Your son is only 13 and his body is still growing and developing. He may need to adjust his game to fit his new body, but that comes with more practice. You might point out that even though professional basketball players practice hours each day, they only make about two out of every three shots during games -- no one is perfect.