Question:
Both of us are overweight. My daughter only eats the things she see me eat. I try to tell her not to be like me but it's really not working. We will be starting a new diet on Monday. This time I hope we both follow through. Can you give us some advice on how to keep on going to a healthierlifestyle and leave the unhealthy lifestyle alone?
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Kendrin Sonneville, M.S., R.D., L.D.N. answers a question from, "How can I encourage better health habits in my teen?" Kendrin is a clinical dietician specialist at Childrens' Hospital Boston. She answers:
Many parents struggle with instilling a healthy relationship with food in their children because of their own difficulties with food and weight. Although you may not be able to restore your own relationship with food overnight, it is great that you reflect on your own behaviors as this can help motivate you to be a positive role model for your daughter. Dieting, as you probably know, has many negative consequences for both adults and kids. The type of deprivation recommended by many diets is not sustainable for the long term which is why people can only stick with them for a short period of time. Diets also often promote "good/bad" mentality which kids may easily internalize. Kids should never hear that people are "good" if they eat lightly or pass up a sweet or are "bad" if they have a second helping or eat a dessert. Eating should be a morally neutral experience, so choose the language you use about eating carefully. Language about weight can also be quite powerful and it is critical that your children know that their worth (and your worth) is not attached in any way to weight. Avoid commenting on changes in your own weight or in the weight of others or on size in general. Your teen many interpret these types of remarks to mean that losing weight is always better than maintaining or gaining weight or that thinness is admirable. Rather than planning to diet and restrict your eating, start off with getting some healthy snacks in the house and wean yourselves slowly from chips and sodas onto vegetables with cottage cheese and water. Make sure you plan your meals in advance and go to the market together to select lean meats and poultry, fish, fruits, vegetables, and legumes. Be sure to keep some favorite snacks around just eat less of them!