Question:
HiI have a 16 year old daughter who is depressed and cannot sleep. She has low self esteem even though she is beautiful and really smart. I am a divorced single working mother and cannot monitor her - I would like to get her involved in an activity for the month of July while sort out her problems.
Do you have any suggestions?
AK
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Trisha Snidersich, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in work with children and adolescents. She provides individual and family therapy in addition to facilitating parenting skills groups. She answers:
As far as suggestions for activities that your daughter can participate in, I would ask her. If you will not be dropping her off and picking her up, it will be in your best interest to choose something that is of interest to her, as it will increase the likelihood that she will go. Speak with your daughter about things that she may find enjoyable. Maybe she would like to consider sports, swimming or outdoor activities. Or she may prefer more creative outlets like pottery or theater. Much of what she chooses will have to do with what is available in your area. You could look into programs at your local YMCA or community recreation center.
I would also like to address that you described your daughter as depressed. Erratic sleeping patterns and a self-esteem that does not reflect all the positive qualities a parent sees in a child could be part of a normative adolescent experience. Or perhaps, these traits could be cause for concern. Whether your daughter is clinically depressed or just going through a period of feeling down, getting her involved in activities could be helpful, but it might also be difficult for her to find the motivation to participate. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try, but keep this in mind and be as supportive as you can. Let her know that you care and are trying to help. Talk to her, really listen to her ideas and value what she says. Try to make decisions together regarding things that affect her.
Lastly, I would recommend getting your daughter a further evaluation if you continue to notice signs of depression, including frequent sadness or tearfulness, isolating from friends, increased irritability or anger, or a major change in eating/sleeping habits.