Question:
My daughter just turned 18 and will be a Senior next year. She is extremely athletic, but I cannot get her motivated to play sports. My thought was this: pay her. She finds this attractive. There would be a contract with a signing bonus, salary and bonus incentives. Is this crazy???Thanks
Steve
Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Mark Fuerst , fields questions about sports and competition. Mark is a health and medical writer based in Brooklyn, NY. You can read more about him at MySteps, his blog. He responds:
Paying your daughter might work if it motivates her to play sports and become more physically active. Then she may find that the benefits (feeling better, looking more fit, developing new skills) outweigh the downsides (getting tired, spending the time).
The tricky part about parenting is finding a way to allow teens to make their own decisions, while still providing enough boundaries and guidance to keep them safe and healthy. As you have probably realized, suggesting your daughter might be lazy won't get you very far in a conversation about her playing sports. If money motivates her, and you both agree on the terms, then a “sports” contract might just work. Teens like to be in control, so a written contract might allow your daughter to take control of her physical activity. It might even empower her exercise habits, which would increase the likelihood that she’ll make physical activity a part of her everyday life.
Now that doesn’t necessarily mean playing a varsity sport. Let your daughter pick a physical activity that she’s passionate about, and then help her to cultivate that passion. For example, if she wants to play soccer on a club team, get her a membership at the local gym and set her up with a trainer who can work on soccer-specific strength and flexibility skills.
If you go ahead with the paid contract concept, check out this link to a generic Exercise Contract that both you and your daughter would sign.