Question:
Dear Renee, Within the past couple of weeks it has come to our attention that our son has been a victim of bullying. He is a quiet kid who tends to be on the shy side. The problem occurs at school. We have contacted the school counselor, who in turn let the staff member in charge of discipline know. This person met with our son, where my son decided to handle the situation on his own. His seat was moved in both classes and teachers were made aware. He was instructed to say in a loud voice "knock it off." As parents we are encouraging our son to talk with us, verbally tell the bully to leave him alone, remind him that this is the bully's problem, one of insecurity and how much we love him. He is a freshman at an all boys school. and on a team. His shyness prevents him from making the friends he desperately needs.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Trisha Snidersich, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in work with children and adolescents. She provides individual and family therapy in addition to facilitating parenting skills groups. She answers:
I am not sure of the exact question you have, as it seems you have appropriately handled the bullying situation and that you make an effort to have open communication with your son. However, it seems you may have some concerns regarding his shyness.
I must say that all children are different and appreciating each one’s unique qualities are very important. Your son’s shyness may or may not change over time. The reality is that the social needs of children vary. Some want to hang out with everyone in school and others are quite content with having one or two close friends. If you haven’t done so already, I would suggest talking to your son and seeing if he thinks his shyness impacts his social life and how. If he is unhappy, then you may help him in figuring out ways to gradually become more involved in social activities. However, if he is happy, then supporting him would be the most helpful course of action.