Question:
My 15 year old son is a freshman,and is struggling this year. He is failing 2 courses, even with tutoring and extra help. He is taking meds for ADD, but has no previously detected learning disabilities. He says he does not care about school, grades, or his future. He refuses psychological counseling. (He has had counseling before, with poor results due to indifference on his part.) How much indifference is expected or common in children this age?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Chris Valdez , is currently the Assistant Principal for Curriculum and Instruction at Marin Catholic High School in Northern California. He has worked in high schools for fifteen years in a variety of capacities including Dean of Students, English teacher, and baseball coach. He answers:
Indifference toward school is not an uncommon attitude at this age but it is usually associated with other contributing factors: lack of academic success, social anxiety or unhappiness, drug or alcohol abuse. The mask of indifference is not uncommon particularly in freshman because they are in such a rapid state of transition, looking toward their peers to guage their own development. All of this can be exacerbated by the diagnosis of ADD, which in certain communities carries a hefty stigma. I am a sincere believer in the significant impact a study environment and routine can work for a student. I also firmly believe that success breeds success--a little encouragement goes a long way. Indifference is not uncommon but it is not acceptable. Identify your student's strengths and nurture those. He's failing two courses which means he's passing most of them. Looking toward the fall, watch his schedule closely and begin the year by building relationships with his teacher. He needs to build those relationships too but you will probably have to help. He does care about school, grades, and his future but his current failure means it's easier to save face by acting as though he doesn't care. Indifference is a way to cope, not a core characteristic of a fifteen year old.