Question:
My eighteen year old college freshman got a tattoo. She does not know that I know, however she really knows how much I disapprove. We had discussed how this is not acceptable while she is dependent on my husband and I to pay for college. I am trying to decide how to react. I am furious and am considering significantly decreasing our contribution to her college funds. She would then need to take out loans. Do you have any suggestions about how I should deal with this?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Dr. Anthony E. Wolf is the author of "'Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall?' A Parents Guide to the New Teenager". He answers:
There has been a significant change even in just the last few years such that virtually all teenagers want - sooner or later - to get tattoos. To the current generation of older teen and young adults, tattoos simply do not have the same meaning as for previous generations. Your daughter may know how strongly you feel about her getting a tattoo, but my guess is that like virtually everybody her age she doesn't see tattoos as wrong, as a sign of being in some way sleazy or tramplike. You do have the leverage over her about college tuition, but it does seem very harsh to think about taking that away. As they become young adults the fact is that we don't have the same control over them as before. Even though she is going directly against what you have said, there are a lot worse things she could be into than getting a tattoo.