Question:
My ex won't support me when I try to give my teens consequences. They have both gone to live with him because they can do what they want. I haven't seen my 16 yr old since xmas. My 14 yr old left a week ago and I haven't seen or heard from her since.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Dr. Michael Schwartzman is a family therapist in New York City and the co-author of "The Anxious Parent". He answers:
Your real concern, up front, is a legal one. Only after the legal concern is resolved does it become a psychological concern. At 16 and 14 your children are still minors. You and your husband, depending on the custody arrangement, have dominion over them. Meaning, you can tell them what to do. Your husband has to honor your agreement or you can pursue a legal remedy in the court. Of course it is better for your children if you and your husband support each other. And it is very important that you see them as much as possible. Not seeing your children only delays and ultimately holds a child's development back. It is far better that everyone works out their issues asap so that the children get the most they can from their homelife and very significant relationship with each of their parents.