Question:
My 17-year-old son is graduating this year and has dreamed of playing his sport in college and the dream is coming true except in the past 2 weeks he has completely changed his mind about his college plans because of his girlfriend who doesn't graduate for 2 more years. How do I get him to focus on his own life and not planning every move he makes around this girl?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Lisa Machoian, Ed.D. is the author of "The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression", and a national expert on teenagers, their mental health, psychosocial development, and self-esteem. She answers:
Try to get him to think about everything he is looking forward to about college and how long and hard he has worked for this dream.
Remind your son that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Remind him that he and his girlfriend can talk on the phone, email, text message and visit one another. Empathize with him: say that you know it is hard to be away from someone he cares for, but that he has worked hard to fulfill his dream and he may regret it later if he doesn't follow through. Ask him to imagine how might he feel five years from now if he stays home, and point out that if the relationship is strong, it will last, no matter where they are living.