Question:
My 7th grade daughter is being treated for depression. She is very bright and has great academic potential. She is constantly being asked to stay after school to make up missing assignments. She does her work when we sit her down and make her, but then may not turn it in the next day. I don't know the proper way to deal with a depressed child and missing school work. Any of my other children I would take privileges away. I worry about being too hard or too easy on her and don't know where that line is. In the meantime, a great deal of my time is spent communicating with her teachers and trying to figure out how to get her to do her work. I feel that I'm just spinning my wheels. Any suggestions?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Lisa Machoian, Ed.D. is the author of "The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression", and a national expert on teenagers, their mental health, psychosocial development, and self-esteem. She answers:
It sounds like her depression is making it hard for her to concentrate and focus on her schoolwork and not turning it in could be linked to self-defeating attitudes or lethargy, both linked to depression. Is she worried about it being perfect? First ask her how come she doesn't turn in her work. You may need to find a structured way to help her complete it and submit it. Doing the homework around people would be helpful so that she is not alone. Maybe you might talk to your daughter about what she thinks would help her. Would it help to reward her for doing her homework versus taking something away? Depression is an illness that takes its toll, so it will be important to figure out how to help her function with it and maintain limits with compassion and understanding.