Question:
My soon to be 14 year old daughter struggles with depression and anxiety and is receiving treatment (medication and therapy). She has recently expressed a desire to have a baby with an older boy whom we didn't even know about. We've since kept her at home, allowing her to only go to school, or with a freind if I know the parent and the parent will be there the entire time. I hate to revert to treating her like a toddler, but there's obviously no way she's ready for all that goes with sexual relationships, not to mention a baby. I know this is a desire for unconditional love on her part, and we're working on ways to help her find fulfillment and build self esteem. In the meantime, Would I be totally off base in speaking with a physician about long term, reversible birth control (such as an implant that she cannot remove or "forget" to take)? I can't keep her "locked away" forever, and want to make sure that at least she wouldn't have a pregnancy on top of everything else.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Lisa Machoian, Ed.D. is the author of "The Disappearing Girl: Learning the Language of Teenage Depression", and a national expert on teenagers, their mental health, psychosocial development, and self-esteem. She answers:
It is good that you are aware of some of the needs she has that are spurring her to want to have a baby; it is important to try fulfill those needs. I understand as her mother you are concerned and protective and have the foresight to see what having a baby would mean for her. I think you will need to talk with your daughter about long -term birth control both yourself and with her physician/gynecologist. If she is forced to comply she could resist even more and try even harder to have a baby. I think communication will be very important.