Question:
My son is 15 in a boy school. He is well adjusted and plays tennis fixtures but not very athletic. He does pretty well academically. Since young, we have always been told he is a very bright boy and can do very much better if he tries but he doesn't seem to want to do any better. He always says he is doing his best but we know he is not. He breezes along and gets an A if he wants to without much effort. The same with music. He just does not want to advance further and is happy to get a B. Should we keep encouraging him? (he doesn't like it if we say it too many times). We can't understand why he doesn't want to achieve more?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert John Blaber, M.A. is an English teacher, Alameda High School, CA. He answers:
Lack of motivation is a common problem in getting teens to learn. Recognizing this, many school improvement initiatives recently, including some supported by the Gates Foundation, have turned to school-improvement models that emphasizes individualized learning, cultural and real-world relevance, and rigorous academics. These are also sometimes called the three Rs, for Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships. These three elements are closely connected; if one is missing from a teacher's teaching practice, he or she may find that students respond with behaviors that signal a lack of intrinsic motivation to learn or achieve. Rigor means exposing students to challenging work with academic and social support. Relevance means ensuring the curriculum is culturally relevant to students and is related to their life experiences and life goals. Relationships means building caring, supportive connections with students, parents, and communities. It is not enough simply to assign difficult work. Some students will respond to this because they are self-motivated or respond well to parental pressures or incentives. But many students need to be persuaded that the content of the classroom is directly relevant to their lives and goals in order to care enough to do the work needed to acquire skills and master content knowledge. Also, students respond when they know their teachers care about their success, not just their parents. Ask yourself whether or not your child's teachers practice the three Rs of Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships, and not just Rigor. If not, it may be that your child would be more successful in a school that is making a deliberate attempt to support and encourage teachers to improve their practice by doing more than just piling on the work and expecting students to perform.