Question:
I was very surprised to find that your website has never addressed the issue of internet pornography. You have talked about the media, and how to keep kids safe from sexual predators while on the internet, but you have not yet given parents advice about dealing with adolescent boys who purposefully seek out this garbage. I have dealt with this with my own son, and I know many other parents who have faced the same issue. Some boys actually seem to be addicted to it. Can you cover this "seemingly taboo" subject?Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Stephen Wallace, fields questions about drugs and alcohol. Stephen Wallace is the Chairman & Chief Executive Officer of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions), and has served as school psychologist, camp director, and college professor. You can read more about him on SADD's site. Stephen answers:
Talking about Internet pornography is a tough thing for many parents (and teens) to do – so good for you for raising the point. At adolescence, for boys and for girls, there is, of course, a marked increase in interest in sexuality, sexual behavior, and relationships. Unfortunately, because these topics are still (incredibly) somewhat "taboo," teens often receive little, if any, guidance from parents about the appropriateness or acceptability of anything sexual, including looking at pornography (more than one-quarter of middle and high school students admit to viewing sexually explicit material online, according to SADD's Teens Today research). To add to the problem, a vast majority of teens – more than 70 percent – say their parents neither monitor nor restrict their Internet activity. Not surprising given that a recent survey from the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation, Parents, Media, and Public Policy, found that parents are more than twice as likely to be concerned about inappropriate content on TV than on the Internet.
Such parental inattention to the Internet however, comes at a price. According to Teens Today, teens whose parents don't monitor or restrict their online activities are significantly more likely than teens whose parents do to say they have viewed sexually explicit material (31% vs.19%, respectively).
Decades of research have highlighted the impact of electronic images on adolescent behavior. And the Internet is no different. According to Teens Today research from SADD, young people who have viewed sexual content on the Internet are significantly more likely than are other teens to report that they have had intercourse (50 percent to 29 percent, respectively) or to say they have engaged in other sexual activity (65 percent to 34 percent, respectively). Equally alarming is the harm such pornography can bring. Donna Rice Hughes of protectkids.com and author of Kids Online: Protecting Your Children in Cyberspace says that exposure to pornography promotes desensitization; shapes attitudes and values; and interferes with a child’s development and identity. Perhaps some good news can be found in the fact that teens themselves seem aware of the dangers. According to Teens Today, only 18 percent say the Internet has a positive impact on teens, compared with 79 percent who say the impact is mixed. While teens sneaking looks at naked people is nothing new, the content readily available on the Internet far exceeds the graphic nature of anything widely viewed by kids a generation ago. Thus, it is ever more important that parents engage teens in dialogue about sex and relationships, including the potential impact of regularly viewing pornography on the Internet. As with most issues, establishing and enforcing family rules helps young people to make good choices.