Question:
Hi. My question/concern is with my soon to be 15 year old son (who has a twin brother). He has been raised to be polite and respectful, but of course this hasn't been happening lately. My real concern is, though, that he is disrespectful to girls, swearing and calling them names when he is upset. (He doesn't know that I know this.) Why is he being like this? We have always had a close and loving relationship, and were always able to talk. This really has me concerned, and I'm not sure if I should address this, or how.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert, Martha R. Roper, M.A., has been a nationally known health and sexuality educator for 25 years. She answers:
There is no way you can stop him from talking the way he chooses around his friends, but you can teach him about expressing feelings and how to manage conflict. Our children will only know what they see at home and hear among friends, from teachers, and other community leaders. Make sure you provide good role modeling for him to over hear when you are managing conflict. Try the Family section of Gordon Training Web site as a resource to begin many conversations about language and the power of language. Name calling and attitudes toward women that often appear as “normal” in his everyday conversations and music can also be a reason that students can get suspended from school. These words can be a reason that girls break up with boys. Kids seem to know not to use inappropriate language in a religious setting or when Grandma comes for dinner. One thing for sure, some young people enjoy using language to upset people, so learning about how to express your own feelings and managing your own conflict around these issues is very important to teaching your sons how to have a loving long-term relationship in the future.