Question:
My own eating habits are terrible. I have struggled with my weight all my life - dieting and going off diets. How can I instill better habits in my two teen daughters (13 and 16)? I'm really concerned about anorexia, bulimia, etc. as a backlash reaction.Answer:
ParentingTeensOnline expert Kendrin Sonneville, M.S., R.D., L.D.N. answers the question, "What else can I do to improve my teens' eating habits?" Kendrin is a clinical dietician specialist at Childrens' Hospital Boston. She answers:
Many parents struggle with instilling a healthy relationship with food in their children because of their own difficulties with food and weight. Although you may not be able to restore your own relationship with food overnight, it is great that you reflecting on your own behaviors as this can help motivate you to be a positive role model for your children. Dieting, as you probably know, has many negative consequences for both adults and kids. The type of deprivation recommended by many diets is not sustainable for the long term which is why people can only stick with them for a short period of time. Diets also often promote “good/bad” mentality which kids may easily internalize. Kids should never hear that people are “good” if they eat lightly or pass up a sweet or are “bad“ if they have a second helping or eat a dessert. Eating should be a morally neutral experience, so choose the language you use about eating carefully. Language about weight can also be quite powerful and it is critical that your children know that their worth (and your worth) is not attached in any way to weight. As you know, what your teen weighs does not make her more or less deserving of a new outfit, a dessert, a friendship, a role in a school play, or a spot on a sports team. Our job is to avoid sending messages that would contradict this fact. Avoid commenting on changes in your own weight or in the weight of others or on size in general. Your teen many interpret these types of remarks to mean that losing weight is always better than maintaining or gaining weight or that thinness is admirable.