Question:
My son is an outgoing 14 y/o boy. He gets good grades, and he has a good group of friends at school. He plays baseball in the summer and enjoys it a lot. However, we can't get him to do anything outside of school with anyone besides the family! He's a pretty happy kid, and we have a good relationship at home. He talks about his friends a lot, but he never wants to invite anyone over or go anywhere with friends. We volunteer to pay for him to go places sometimes, but he doesn't like to go out. He has friends in the neighborhood but he doesn't hang out with them at all either. Is this normal?Answer:
Donna Secor Pennington, LMSW, has been a school social worker at the high school level for twenty years and an advocate for programs and services for teens and parents. She answers:
Your son sounds like a basically well-adjusted 14 year old, so you must be doing many things right! He is at a rather awkward age – too old to “play outside” in the neighborhood, but too young for dating and some of the other gatherings of teens that will be more appropriate in the future. His involvement on the baseball team is a real plus and provides him with an activity that could lead to more activities off the field. Help him look for others that build on his interests and involve him with his peers. Church youth groups can be helpful for young teens. Provide some support and encouragement, rather than pressure, for socialization. Some day soon you may be complaining that you never see him!