Topic: Technology and Media
Following are the questions our readers asked on this topic. To view our expert's answer to a question, just click on it.
- Every time a new piece of equipment comes out, (Laptop, i-Pod, Blackberry, i-Phone) my parents rush to buy it for our teen (17). She is totally spoiled and can’t live without her gadgets. Now that she’s got them, how do I persuade her that she can function without them?
- I have heard something about voice over Internet telephone systems? Can you explain them to me and tell me which is the best service? Is there a reasonable way we can talk to our daughter when she is doing her junior year abroad program in the Congo?
- How much time do you suggest a child be allowed to be on cellphone? What cut off time do you recommend for school nights and also weekends?
- Hi Renee, I am having a problem at my house. My 7th grader, 12 year old Stacey has been on my space for one month now. She is a great kid, but tends to be a follower. I work out of the house, my 36 year old sister is our afternoon nanny, so someone is always at home with the two girls, 9 and 12. We have gone on her site, it is private, she has to invite friends. The problem is, as you bring in friends, you pollute the population. One boy was talking about sex in his profile, another girl had playboy symbol on her site. My sister, wife, and 12 year old are fighting over this. Any advice? Bob
- Is Limewire legal? My kids want to use it and I can't help but the think the process is illegal and I don't want them to be sued by record companies? Thank you!
- Are there motivational blogger sites available for tens and their parents? What does it take to monitor one's ten MySpace website and the tens activity- who, how much time spent on the routine basis. Thank you,
- What do you think about MYspace? is it safe or how can it be safe? Thanks, diana teran
- I was very surprised to find that your website has never addressed the issue of internet pornography. You have talked about the media, and how to keep kids safe from sexual predators while on the internet, but you have not yet given parents advice about dealing with adolescent boys who purposefully seek out this garbage. I have dealt with this with my own son, and I know many other parents who have faced the same issue. Some boys actually seem to be addicted to it. Can you cover this "seemingly taboo" subject?
- Hi there What software do you recommend for keeping track of AIM instant messages for kids, teens etc. Thanks
- Is there a way to "lock up" our computer so that teen can only use it when I "unlock" it -- having trouble getting homework done before computer games
- Hello, I have 4 children (16, 14, and two 12 year olds) they all want access to the internet here at home but I am very hesitant, because of all the adult sites out there. Is there any software available that will restrict access to those sites? Thank you. Eva Francis
- We have some fairly tight parental controls on our AOL (mild teen age content OK for our 13 year old son), but we are finding our son is getting onto internet explorer and visiting sites that are not blocked...how do we prevent him from going outside of our AOL "rules". We try to have him use the internet in our presence, but that does not always happen, and he is sneaky enough to get around our "requirement" to use AOL --he lies about his using internet explorer, yet our daughter said she saw him visiting "porn" and when my spouse looked into the internet explorer, she was right about some sights our son had visited. How do we control that?
- About two years ago, my husband and I restricted our two pre-teens to using the internet solely for homework, once we found out they were sneaking on-line on their MySpace accounts, which we strongly are against. For the last two years we have an internet login that only my husband and I know. I'd like to begin trusting them again and allow our now 13 and 14 year olds to use the computer with out having to log them in each time they have to use it. What software can we install to track the sites they've been on and their activity if they are on the internet without us home monitoring their usage?
- I have a 12.5 yr old daughter who has taken up obsessive behavior regarding some musical performers that are way above her age in there 40s. she goes on the internet to research all about there personal life and i try to restrict her. what i would like to ask is if this is age appropriate behavior? i feel she is too young to be doing this and like i said try to restrict what she can view from what not, but feel if i am too strict it just pulls her in that direction. can you give me some advise as to how to handle this situation.
- I'm having trouble deciding how to deal with a "texting problem" involving my soon to be 14-year-old son. Recently texting seems to take up all his free time. When my husband and I confiscated the phone due to bad behavior (talking back, refusing to do what is asked of him) we read several text messages that involved profanity and lies. It seems he and a friend are trying to impress some girls by embellishing stories about themselves. These embellishments seem trivial (lying about living in Hawaii for a year, etc.) but I'm afraid these lies will turn into bigger problems. And the language he uses to talk to his friends (and these girls) include many cuss words that he knows are inappropriate to use in speaking conversations. I know he is trying to "fit in" and make himself look "cool" to this friends and these girls, but it is like he is a different person when texting. And it is hard to relate to the way in which his friends "communicate" as when I was growing up, we talked on the phone or visited each other to stay in touch. My husband and I have tried to teach our children that lying and use of profanity are bad life choices. Do you have any advice on how we as parents should address his use of lies and profanity in the texting medium? Any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated.
- My 16 year old daughter has been exchanging very sexually explicit text messages with her 16 year old boyfriend. I let her know that I was aware of the content to these messages and that they are inappropriate as well as the fact that other people may be reading them. She does not deny it but does not want to talk about it. Aside from discontinuing her texting service (which I have never been a fan of because of excessive use) I am open to any ideas as to how to handle this situation. Thank you
- I have a 17 yr old daughter who will be 18 in 3 months. Recently I was using her lap top and looked in the history. I found some porn sites some sex advice sites etc. I know my daughter and her boyfriend are sexually active, and my daughter is on birth control pills and she says that they use condoms. I have seen the sex advice sites before, but I'm not entirely sure that she was the one looking at the porn sites. I also have a 14 yr old son, or it could be her boyfriend. I would like to talk to her about this, but I don't want to make her angry for looking into her computer history, and If she is the one looking at this stuff I can't imagine how she'll react, I am extremly distrubed by this. Please give me some advice as how to handle this. Thank you
- My 12 year old daughter had been using my laptop. When I went to check my email, her email was open and I saw an email she had sent to a friend in which she said something very mean (using an expletive) about another student. I told her that I saw the email and she denied writing it. The problem is that it was in the quoted part of a reply email and it was clearly in an email sent by her. She insists that she didn't write it, but when I ask her to explain it she just says, "I don't know." This is the second incident this week where I've been sure she's lying to me, but she cries and insists she's not and screams "Why can't you trust me?" and "Why won't you believe me?" I don't know how to respond. She is an extremely good kid, and I usually can trust her, but in these two instances I'm sure she's lying. How do I deal with this without causing her to think I'll never trust her again?
- Why do so many parents behave as if cell phones for their teenagers are essential? For millenia, when young men and women could physically find their way in the world, their level of judgment was increased with this responsibility. Today, instead, parents are so fearful that children are given no responsibilities as pedestrians or bicyclists. The only responsibility that most are given is to "call home and get permission" or "let mom know where I am." What would be wrong with drastically cutting back on mobile communications? (remember, motor vehicles have NEVER BEEN MORE RELIABLE!)
- Hi, I have a soon to be 12 year old with ADHD who likes to go on the computer to find the latest card trick or joke or whatever will get his attention. Recently he's had a thing for u-tube. He came into the bedroom with a belt around his neck and thought it was funny!!!!! I wasn't home and my husband was attending to our 2 year old and almost fell over. When I got home we took the computer and any other electronic out of his room. If he wants to use the computer now it's in the kitchen with a password on it. I feel like a witch. I can't trust him with anything. What is the fascination with all the electronics these days. I never had a cellphone until I was in college and I never had a computer until I was married. But Ipod, Iphone, it's never ending........The kids today don't even want to work for it.... To make a long story short I'm trying to find a psy to help been to 6,7, or 8 already nobody gives any answers. Maybe I need to find someone for me before I lose my mind.
- I read my 14 yr old son's texts/emails without his knowledge. Recently I saw 2 photos of naked girls that were sent to him & that it appears he sent to others. These may be local girls but I'm not sure. In any event, I didn't want him to know I read his texts so in a general way I told him I heard from other parents that these photos were being passed around and asked if he ever got one. He flat out lied and said no. Now I'm more concerned about the lying than the photos. How do I confront him without him knowing I read his texts?
- I understand there are provocative photos of teens being sent via text/internet and that kids could be prosecuted for forwarding these photos. Please enlighten me on this subject and the potential consequences.