Topic: Alcohol and Drugs
Following are the questions our readers asked on this topic. To view our expert's answer to a question, just click on it.
- My daughter (14) has been really happy at her new school – we moved last spring and she has adjusted well. I have noticed that she is dressing differently (a lot more black), wears perfume (she never did before), listens to different music, and doesn’t like me to come in her room. Is this just normal teen behavior or is she hiding something? I wonder if she might be covering up the smell of grass with the perfume. What do you think?
- I am sure my son (16) and his friends are stealing from our liquor cabinet and filling up the bottles with water. I have confronted him but he swears he doesn’t drink. I am really mad for two reasons – 1. I think he’s lying and 2. I can taste a difference in the gin, vodka, and rum I paid good money for. What should I do?
- My son is 14 and is smoking. I have known for awhile, and I have asked him and he has lied to me. Denying it. I told him I knew and that I don't approve. He told he get them from friends. I do not smoke nor my husband. So I know he gets them somewhere. Last night he was smoking in the bathroom and lied about. We rent and there is no smoking in the house. We have told him never is he to smoke in the house or bring into the house. I don't know what to do. He goes down to a park everyday and I know he does it there, or even is getting them there. I just need help. Please....
- My seventeen yr old son recently greatly reduced his use of pot after much family conflict. Now in its place I find that he is drinking (I am finding empty beers and liquor bottles in the house.) He sees a therapist, who he seems to like. I don't see much progress there. He is a bit of a loner and has few friends. He has a nice girlfriend that he is very attached too. He in involved in few activities so there are not many things that I could take away as a consequence for his unacceptable behavior. What should I do?
- Tomorrow I will be discussing with my 15 year old daughters incident of her coming in drunk. I had to help her to her bed when she came in. At first I tried to talk to her when she came in but she was slurring her words. Then to day she spent most of her time washing her bed linens. She had thrown up when she went to bed. I had gotten up an hour later to check on her and thats when I noticed she had thrown up. I cleaned off her face and made sure her head was up on the pillow. I waited because I needed time to collect my thoughts and emotions. I plan to ground her for 3 weeks, no telephone usage and she will not have any friends come over. What else can I do when I discuss her consequences tomorrow? I have already talked to her about the dangers of drinking alcohol and drugs. She started hanging around two older boys ages 18 and 20. She was only allowed one hour a day. Please respond quickly. My daughter has a 4.0 grade point in school. We live in a very remote area in Nevada. The town consists of 1000 people. There is not much activity for the young teens.
- Hello, I am dating someone who has 3 teens. The girl (16) recently told me she left some marijuana in her car and thank goodness her mom didn't see it. After a few days I thought about it and decided to tell her dad. I have kept her other secrets, kissing boys, but this worries me. What if she is driving? Was I wrong to break her confidence?
- HI- I have a 20 year daughter who is drinking in the house (against my rules) I have found vodka bottles (1/2 full and beer)...do you suggest that I confiscate when I find? I have talked to her about no alcohol in the house and she keeps breaking the rule. I have given her 2 months to find a new place to live if she cant respect the rules of the house however until hat 2 months is up...how do I handle present situations?
- Recently my daughter was arrested in Manhattan, smoking pot . It was a total shock! My husband and I are grappling with the trust issues, actually more than the pot issues. How does one appropriate a consequence that has a connection to the offense? She's a good kid - got her ED at Hampshire for next fall/Nat. Honor Soc, Honor Roll. Though she confesses to smoking a few other times(not in the city in broad daylight!), she hasn't ever been in trouble. With college in the fall, we feel it's important to re-establish trust before she goes away. There's a trip to Greece with her class. Do we take that away as punishment or give her the responsibility of going and staying out of trouble? Thank you for any help you can give.
- My 16 year old son recently was arrested for trying to sell a controlled substance (Tyleno # 3). He is on probation for 6 months. I also know that he is sneaking and smoking. I plan on him taking Freedom From Smoking classes next week. My question is how can I learn to trust him? And, what did I do wrong in raising him? Our family does not smoke, do drugs and only occasionally has a drink. This is not how I want my son to be. I just want for him to make good decisions and I want to trust him again.
- My daughter is 15 1/2 and has just finished her first year of high school. She was always very smart and in the AIG classes at school Now she is failing her grade because she will not get up and get to school on time, will not do her work, keeps saying that she is sick all the time. Now she has started sneaking out, lying to me, screaming and yelling when she doesn't get her way, leaving the house without permission and not coming home overnight etc. I recently saw pictures of her on her my space with an alcoholic beverage in hand. I have tried talking to her and even suggested going to a counselor but she said she wasn't going that she was not stupid. She was a varsity cheerleader, one of the few to make it as a freshman last year, but they wouldn't let her back on the squad this year due to her tardies. Her dad doesn't want to be bothered with any form of discipline because he is too busy partying himself. He is an alcoholic and went through rehab twice but now is drinking again. When he starts drinking he starts calling us names and yelling at us. I have tried to explain to both my children that it is a disease, but I am beginning to see his disrespect of us coming out through her. I don't want her to ruin her life and fill like I should leave him and maybe it will help us. He doesn't seem to care what we do and I think it is really bothering her although she says it doesn't. Please I will take any suggestions that I can get. Thank you.
- my son was sold alcohol at a party got drunk and made some very bad choices. he is now in prison as a result of his actions he is ninteen years old and was sentenced to three years. he had no previous criminal record. do i have any recourse for suing the people who sold him the alcohol? i dont know how to help him, or if i can do anything at all ? he is so young i am afraid it will destoy him.
- In this day and age, marijuana seems to have been accepted into society as a "not so horrible" drug of choice. We have heard adults openly criticize people who go out for a cocktail or drink at a party, but then sit in their homes in secret and light up constantly. How can we teach our teen sons that marijuana is not a "safe" drug, even though "everyone" does it??
- My son is 16 and he and his friends are starting to experiment with alcohol use - some times playing drinking games. He shared with me the friends, game and amount of alcohol that was present at a recent get together. He did not drive himself home, but had a friend who was not drinking do the driving. I am struggling to know how to keep this open and honest dialogue but still lay down a consequence for the underaged drinking. In addition, I know the parents and house where the drinking took place. Do I tell them about this? Won't that just put my son in the position to not share with me in the future? I am very torn with how to handle this - Please help!!!
- Hello, my 13 year old daughter is smoking, she has stolen cigarettes from my husband and we have caught her with them several times. I am not sure what to do about this situation. I know that almost all teens will try smoking, but she is being so bold about it. Any suggestions??
- My 16 year daughter recently invited a group of friends over to our house who were advised ahead of time that there would be no cigarette, alcohol or drug use allowed. Her dad and I posted a sign at the door stating the rules. There were several kids who went ahead and brought alcohol. My daughter was not involved with the alcohol. When we discovered this we took the alcohol from them. Our intent was to provide a safe environment for our kids but it turned out differently. Can you please give some advice as to how to handle teenage parties and what to do when an underage teenager is caught with illegal substances in our house?
- My son started drinking with friends when he was 15 1/2 I grounded him right away when i found out. He had a summer of coming in at 8 o'clock. Then it was about 4 months later when school started and he drank at a football game. Again privileges taken away. He started skipping school last year and I found out he was smoking pot. I have drugged tested him had him see a counselor and the counselor said he is just experimenting and he does not have an addictive personality.. Well he was good until the 4th of July again caught drinking curfew in the house and privileges taken away again.. ( I stuck to everything) I told him this time no license if I catch you drinking again. He just got caught drinking again. This is happening every three to four months. I am a single parent and have had to work from 6p until midnight. His father passed away five years ago from cancer. There is nobody home other than his two older brothers. He has a job but I am seeing where he is not taking it seriously. I NEED him to work. My question... I have paid for the driving lessons 300.00 do I have him take the lessons and get his permit but not let him drive or do I just pass on the lessons and eat the money that I really can't afford to do.. but I want him to know how serious I am about this. I am not sure what the best route is. I feel like letting him take the lessons is giving in, yet getting his license and not being able to drive may be a punishment and a motivator to get it together. I told him he could not drive until he was 18 because he drank again. ( It is a punishment for me but he really does not seem to understand his behavior) I am not a fan of the 12 step program to do meetings. I think it is an enabling program by saying you have a disease it takes away from personal responsibility. What do you suggest???? Thank you
- Hi Mr. Wallace, Today I was cleaning the basement and came across a small soda bottle half filled with gin. I believe my 14 year old son hid it there. I have never discovered anything like this before and always keep a close eye on Joe and his friends. What should I do? Tracey C.
- My teenage step-daughter was just suspended from school. She was caught drinking at lunch time. She just found out that her mom might be moving to England and she is marrying a man she just met. I think my step-daughter may be acting out from all the pressure and feelings she has about her mom...HELP I don't know what to do as a consequence.