I'm facing this exact problem right now with my oldest son who is 17. we have had some issues with lying (over really stupid things) and trust in the past. And he took driver's ed and everything and i'm still hesitant about going that last step to take him to get his driver's license! I want to trust him, but I'm worried because in the past, everytime we have extended a little more trust, it's resulted in a mess.
Josephine Ho, Manasquan, NJ 09/17/08
It is very dangerous that many parents do not realize what their teenagers are doing. Some are in denial that their kids are not that bad. When it comes to drinking and drugs, it is best intervene early. Also too many parents are home providing alcohol to their teens and their friends. Young people should not drink because they have a tendency to binge drink and thus, causing damage to their brains. Be vigilant and talk to kids when they are young about drinking and drugs. Also parents should set an example of not having alcohol at every social function. We don't need to have alcohol to feel good and have fun.
catherine colby 09/11/08
I want to add one thing, and that's that I have been shocked in how few parents have called me to check on their own children, despite the fact that I had called them - none. They choose to believe that they're being honest because they don't catch them at anything, yet how do they think they'll ever catch them at anything if they're never looking?
catherine colby 09/11/08
I have a 16 year old daughter and I agree with checking in with friends' parents to compare curfews, freedoms, etc. However, I have had the experience of learning that my daughter is more often accurate when she complains of the disparity between our rules and theirs; her friends' parents really are allowing much later curfews than we are comfortable with (12-1am), much less strict driving rules (allowed to drive with friends who haven't had their license for the LEGAL requirement of 6 months), sleepovers on school nights, regardless of grades, etc. I have been shocked at how permissive parents are! We live in a rural area, my daughter and her friends are, for the most part, honor roll and higher students, no real serious trouble, and I've known these kids and their parents since elementary school. But despite this, I still believe I need to be comfortable with the limits and freedoms I allow my teen, and not necessarily be dictated by what "everyone else is doing".
Catherine
D.S. Dancer 09/24/08
Josephine Ho, Manasquan, NJ 09/17/08
catherine colby 09/11/08
catherine colby 09/11/08
Catherine