CHANGING SOCIETY'S PERCEPTIONS OF ALCOHOL

Even when parents are clear on their own perceptions about alcohol, they must battle the slick ads, movies, TV shows, and magazines that tie liquor to money, taste, and sex. Stories about young people bingeing are usually treated for laughs and almost never show the dire consequences. Most network TV episodes make drinking look like a positive experience. Talk to your kids about reality versus Hollywood and media hype about the "fun" of drinking.

Rachel, a New York mother of two, says, "I remember asking my 5th-grade son, after we saw a beer commercial with those funny animated frogs that drink beers, why the commercials never show the
consequences of drinking, like drunk driving and hangovers and drunken fights." That's a teachable moment, an opportunity, to define and clarify your values and educate your child about the consequences of alcohol abuse.

Share your own stories, and tell the truth. "I struggle with how to discuss my past with alcohol without glorifying the situations or making them seem like an ordinary rite of passage," says Al, an Illinois father of two. "I had some experiences binge drinking that were not good. At the time, there was lots of pressure to do it and fit in." Tracy, a Portland, Oregon, mother of two, says, "I never set out to
binge drink as a teenager. We called it ‘partying.' It seemed normal. It wasn't unusual for friends to come to a party on a Friday night, get drunk, pass out and wake up feeling sick for the weekend. Looking back, I can't believe I did that. I'm thankful to be alive."

"I had a friend who died in high school after drinking way too much," said Sue, Denver mother of three. "I never got over that, and I think telling my son this story shocked him into reality, since he had confessed to drinking at a party the previous weekend."

SET YOUR OWN FAMILY RULES

An adult may be able to drive a car after drinking one or two standard-sized glasses of beer or wine over the course of one or two hours, but it´s just not the same for teens. Not only is it illegal for them to drink alcohol under the age of 21, it is also impossible for their developing bodies and brains to metabolize liquor the way an adult can. The amount that a 180-pound adult male can drink without measurable effect is not the same as the amount a 130-pound teen can absorb. Also, both prescription and illegal drugs may enhance the influence of alcohol. Conversations about the law must also stress that beyond the danger of killing yourself or someone else when driving under the influence, a car crash can result in possible death or injury as well as jail time, huge legal fees, and a permanent record.

Family rules about drinking alcohol can be simple and strong: When you drink, you don't drive. Period. Lisa, a mom of two teen boys in Seattle said, "I've always told my sons that driving and drinking never mix. I introduced the concept of designated drivers when my kids were very young." It is imperative NEVER to condone underage drinking. It is not a rite of passage but a possible passage to a future of alcohol dependency and drunk driving.

TALKING ABOUT ALCOHOL IS PART OF THE BIGGER PICTURE

Talking about alcohol and binge drinking is part of a much larger ongoing family dialogue about keeping healthy and safe. It's not always easy. If needed, support is available for your child and family. When one family member has an alcohol problem, the entire family has a problem. Your teen's school, public health agencies, or your workplace's employee assistance programs may offer resources. As a parent, your teens are depending on you- whether they know and appreciate it or not-to give them the skills to navigate a complex social world. When alcohol is involved, their lives are on the line. So start talking now! They'll thank you for it later.

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Issue: October 2007