#4.    Help teens look outside themselves.

Teens are often portrayed as lazy and self-centered, but imagine if they were surrounded by people thanking them for their help, suggests Dr. Ginsburg. Find ways to let them:

• support a charity,

• lend a hand to a needy neighbor,

• initiate and manage a family project, or

• share their opinions about a global issue.

By contributing to society, kids gain a sense of purpose beyond their own concerns. When they see that it’s okay to reach out to people, they’ll be more likely to seek help when they need it for themselves.

Life is full of bumps and turns, but they always seem to come packaged as a lesson worth learning. If kids are given the chance to take responsibility for their own decisions and actions, says Dr. Ginsburg, they are far less likely to see themselves as passive victims and blame others. “They learn that mistakes happen and next time they’ll be better prepared. This is the core of resilience – when faced with adversity, failure, or stress, kids who have a true center of control will be able to bounce back.”

Betsy Dru Tecco is a freelance writer who has written countless articles and 13 nonfiction books. She is the mother of two daughters, 8 and 14.

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Issue: September 2008